Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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How I Went To Hell and Back, and Came Bearing Gifts

I had a person drive me to DMV today*. My "true" friends said they would rather go to hell than take me to DMV, which in its own right, is like hell on earth. So I had a stranger, a convicted felon who is possibly bipolar, drive me there.

My plan was perfect. Go at 8 am, beat the lines, leave at 8:05 am with a New York driving license. Fool proof. What do my friends know? Four hour lines? Pfft! Not for me!

I enter the DMV at 9:30 am. I am one of the few there. Odd. I fill out a paper where I request a new license in exchange for my old Pennsylvania one. I circle the part where I admit that I am epileptic. I knew that hey! this might screw with my plan, and I might instead walk out with a non-driver's ID, but no matter! I was a woman with a goal and my goal was to NOT walk out empty handed!

My number is called out. I hand in the paper. Take a picture. Show thousands of IDs proving that I do in fact exist. My picture was taken, I was moved to another window. The guy at the window smiles.
Guy: "Why, hello there."
Me: "Hello yourself as well."
Guy: "What brings you here today."
Me: "Just moved** to NY, so I am replacing my license."
Guy: "Do you have a record in NY."
Me with a smile: "Nope***."
Guy: "NOT EVEN a speeding ticket?"
Me with even a bigger smile: "Nope."
Couple keystrokes, other pointless chats, flirtatious comments later, he asks: "How will you be paying for this?"
Me: "With a smile."
Guy: "While beautiful smile you have, do you have something that will actually last?"
Me: "If you take a picture... it will. Will credit card do?"
Guy already on the floor laughing, takes my credit card and asks: "So what are you doing today?"
Me: "Nothing."
Guy: "Would you like to do something?"
Me: "No, not really."
OWNED!
He still writes down his phone number in case I change my mind.

I walked out with a New York license. It was 10:00 am. At that time the lines were already extending to the outside of the building.

I do not know how was THAT Hell or how was THAT four hours, but I do know I did get NY license... and a phone number.

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* I am currently a non-driving person for certain reasons that I will possibly disclose if I don't forget. It is not because I do not have a car. I sitll have my BMW that I love oh so ever dearly.
** If "just" means almost four months ago, then yes, I just moved.
*** TECHNICALLY not anymore, I don't.

2:55 p.m. - November 21, 2008

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