Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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How I Was Dumped by The Man Who Was NOT My Boyfriend

i was sitting in the atrium (where else? my office maybe? ha ha ha, right) doing some calculations for my research. i am the cool grad student with her laptop and ipod and cell phone being used ALL at once. that's right. i yawned once or twice. twice to be sure that the first one did not go forgotten. and here comes Stan interrupting my lethargic work-time.

he tells me how we are meant for each other.
>i type on my laptop some more.
he tells me how much he likes me.
>i nod indifferently.
he continues with how much he wishes we were together; if not as boyfriend/girlfriend, he would love to just go on a date with me.
>i suddenly remember of some papers in my bag.
he says how i am the only one in the department he can identify with.
>i switch the playlist on my ipod, and continue looking for the papers.
he falls silent.
>i look up.
playing with his shoelaces he says, that it hurts him we will NOT be together--
>at the same time, i grabbed my papers, which so ever smoothly went through my finger, giving me one of the deepest paper-cuts i have ever seen. i curse quietly but audibly as he continues.
--that it majorly sucks that we like the same things, are in the same department, are pursuing phd in the same specialization, are in the SAME small research group, and will be working on the same project.
>i suck my hurt finger.
he tells me that the smart person i am, i will understand that it is not a right thing for us to date... especially so early in our grad school career. maybe in the fourth year, but not the first. if we were in different research groups, it would be different.
>i clean the dust off my shoes and then continue sucking on my hurt finger.
he says that at least we will see each other every day for the next 3 and half years. he falls silent. i don't respond so he throws something at me.
> "You make this assumption that I feel the same for you as you do for me. That the feeling is mutual."
he looks up amused: "And it isn't?"
> "please, I hate your guts." I smile.
he smiles: "Shut the fuck up."

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now, the question is: did he just break up with me with us not even being together to begin with?

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and how do i feel about this whole thing? well, i knew we could not be together, it would not work; however, all i wanted him is to admit that he does freaking want me... and that he did.

manipulation requires a special type of intelligence... and patience.

10:53 p.m. - December 04, 2008

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