Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If You Cannot Be There For Me, I Will Find Someone Else

Today, I shall be a manipulative indifferent person to my boyfriend. I am not doing it to retaliate. Not completely.

He did something for the nth time now; something that I have told him on numerous ocassions not to do. It is not anything ridiculous like using a salad fork for a steak so rare that it goes "moo". Oh no, it is not anything of that caliber. It is something that offends me personally so greatly, that I shall fight back by playing his own game (but with my rules).

Coincidentally, I received my favorite flowers (tulips) today. A tiny message was attached: I wish things were different. It was not signed, but I have a pretty good idea they were from Stan.

I used this to get under my bf's skin. And this conversation followed:
ME: Thank you thank you!! They are awesome!!!!
HE: What?
ME: The FLOWERS! They're beautiful! I did not think you remembered my favorite ones!
HE: Of course I did.
ME: I was just tiny bit confused by the message. It sorta did not make sense.
HE: I don't get it. How did it not make sense? (taking credit for the flowers!!!)
ME: Well, I was not sure what you were referring to. Explain then.
HE: What was the confusing part?
ME: Uhm... everything. So explain it.
HE: What did it say?
ME: You wrote. You tell me.

SCORE.

Now, what will that teach him? He is a psychiatrist, he knows what I want to say to him. It's not about flowers. I don't care too much about them.

He knows, and I know this for sure. He loves me, that's apparent. But he sees me only when he wants to, when it's convenient for him. But sometimes, sometimes, I need him to be there for me too. And that's when he bails out. He tells me that he will be there, yes, he will come, and then day later apologize for not showing up. Uhm... in the age of technology, a text message is all one needs. The least one can do is send a text that something suddenly came up.

Fuck, you love me or not, but if on those rare moments I need you, at least let me know you cannot be there for me. But not say that you shall and then bail out. Because you know, there are other people who have always been there for me and never let me down. You do not want me leaving for one of those people. Stan...Stan has never let me down. In his own bitchiness and unwilligness, he still manages to be there for me in his weird weird way.

2:53 p.m. - March 05, 2009

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

random entry

----------
other diaries:

alienamiss
silver4
perplexing
nononename
opposure
cocoabean
star-brite
achmardi
outer-jessie
non-descript
jenniesblog

----------
recent entries:

Test - April 28, 2017
My PhD Made Me Obsolete In Human Language - February 18, 2012
... I revisited the bathroom after I regained the ability to move, and I realized that anything that could've been broken, was; anything that could've been thrown in disarray, was. But my brain could not recollect how I have managed to do such - January 30, 2012
I Might Have Had a Slight Lapse in Judgement - January 29, 2012
A moment for reflection: - January 01, 2012
Site Meter