Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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Only Two Days that Seemed Like Forever

You need less than two days for even the most spontaneous, to realize their world is shook up if the one part of their daily spontaneous routine is missing.

MONDAY I sent an email to Dr. A, that I will not be coming in. People start freaking out. Meanwhile, I am freaking out making calls here and there, and tending to the blisters on my skin. Somewhere out there, people from my group send me emails about when I am coming back. Dr. A, sends me some questions that only I can answer.

TUESDAY I make more calls here and there, while my prickly and blistering skin just continues to blister and prickle with a random thunderstorm here and there in the background. People panic. Dr. A has an impromptu meeting with the guys (HP, HM, and Stan) to check up on me. HP does the honors in calling. But they care, they want to know if they can help me with something, if I am alive, to let me know things are not well without me. And I answer sure, yes, everything is fine, while applying burn-gels, and burn relief sprays, none of which help, but then I don't have any burns, just rare allergy that is just treated that way.
I get more emails with questions and tasks that only I can do.

TODAY My desk is decorated with candies. HP happy to see me brings me coffee. Says things were quiet and sad without me. Less things were thrown at others, less "I hate yous" were said, less laughs, less sarcasm, overall zero estrogen.
As per order, I go to Dr. A's office. He throws everything to the side, everybody is happy to see me.
Dr. A: "We missed you." I chuckle, "Yea." Dr. A: "So how are you? Everything okay?"
I rub all the blisters on my arm, "Yea. I came here because you wanted me to."
Dr. A: "Anything I can help you with?"
I think I misunderstand, but I get it right, so I say: "Oh no, I'm good, I just came because you asked."
Dr. A: "I get the hint: you don't want to talk about it." And then he tells me what he would like me to do and do it for others because others are lost and only I can find the way. Convert something to other, plot this over that, and make pretty animations. Everybody can take experimental data, but only I can make it publishable. He tells me that it was just not the same, that I am needed and without me nothing ever gets done. I scratch my head nervously, laugh a little, then mess my hair in that oh-I-am-so-cool-I-don't-even-care-if-my-hair-looks-like-a-mess.

I come to my office, and Stan pulls a chair really close to me. So close he could count the tiny blisters all over my arm if he wanted to. He looks at me admirably.
Me: "What do you want?" I say with a smile, thinking he will tell me how much he loves and missed me.
He says he forgot and continues to stare at me, as I decide to just do some work.
Him: "I just wanted to say hi. You were gone for like a week."
Me: "Two days." And I was with him the whole Saturday… for real, not in my head.
Him: "It felt like FOREVER though." Close enough.
He stopped by couple more times just to "check in that I am still there and haven't suddenly disappeared."


People… are crazy. And while these guys are obsessing over their little girl (me), more planes are crashing, more people are dying, and more people are looking to be found.

11:17 p.m. - July 01, 2009

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