Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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To Answer Your Question: It's In My Jeans

Moon phase: 84% of Full; Waxing Gibbous
Sunrise: 6:59 AM
Sunset: 6:49 PM
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I am going nuts. I must be. It is the only explanation. Why else would this be happening to me? Why else?

I experienced 5 hrs of erotic dreams about Stan. I woke up, thinking this was it, and the first words that come out of his mouth when I saw him at work were: "Look at my crotch. It looks like I peed myself, but in fact I didn't." And continued to divert my attention from my computer towards his crotch.

My friend and I decided to be departmental sluts, and decided to branch out: instead of hitting up the chemistry dept. parties, we now are invited to biology and math dept parties. And I hate parties so much!

The next party we are invited to is by the math department. Apparently we have to dress up like animals. Hmm, I sense a plushie party! I tried to convince my friend they have some plushophilia going on there… and this won't be a regular party with people in fuzzy costumes! She didn't believe me (I don't know if I should believe myself too, but it's fun that way); I said she should just watch out for animals humping her legs…. Rabies is spread that way.

Finally, and most importantly, my swimming instructor… well, it came to my attention that he is a bassists in a quite famous rock band. They got a Grammy. Hmm. Meanwhile, he is getting himself a degree and teaching people like me on how to drown the proper way.
Now I feel the need to impress him. Pfft, at the same time though: been there, done that. I dated a rock-star before. I got a song recorded about me. Maybe it is me who in fact is the hot stuff and he should stress out to impress me and hope for next time I grab his crotch for support…. Hmm, I like this.

How does this happen?

12:27 a.m. - September 30, 2009

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