Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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It's Like, You Know, He Loves, They Care, Want Their Life Back To Normal, And You Know, It's All My Fault. Typical.

I have not spoken to Stan since Tuesday; and will not until I receive a proper apology� of sorts.

This disrupts the normal routine of our group. Our morning coffee runs, ruined. Our afternoon coffee runs, destroyed. Our group lunches� forget about it!

HM complained the only reason we (Stan, HM, the Boss, and me) did the coffee runs is because of me; I made the day start with happiness and laughter and hugs (WTF?! Obviously I need coffee if I do this stuff without even realizing!), and now the coffee runs are: silence, talks about work: �how�s the calculation?� �running� and silence once again.

Our boss does not like this. HM does not like it. Stan� well, I have not spoken to him since Tuesday. Before I left for PA for the delivery of bad news, I stopped by my boss� office as he wanted to see me about the paper we are planning on publishing. We chat work-related talk, and then it turns to friends.
�Eh, they are replaceable.� I state nonchalantly.
�Except Stan.� Boss interjects.
�He has been downgraded to an acquaintance. This applies to acquaintances as well.� I say. I do not like where this is going.
�Be nice to him.�
�Eh? He gets what he deserves.�
�Since you stopped talking to him, he has been moping around, all sad. I think I saw him crying.�
�He is incapable of crying.�
�Okay, so maybe not crying. But he is really devastated. Talk to him.�
�So� the paper? When are we publishing?�
�Fix it. Talk to him.�
�I will be late for my bus.�

HM thought he should throw his opinion at me too. This really does affect everyone, I hear.
�Do you think he even knows why I am mad at him? Even though I told him couple times?�
�He has a penis�� HM starts.
�So I hear.� I add.
�So, he has a penis, of course he doesn�t know. Just forget it. He feels bad, doesn�t know why. Take it or leave it, and let�s go back to how it was before.� He gives me his advice.
�Tell him, to take his penis and suck it, I want my apology.� And I go catch my bus.

Stan knew I had to leave to PA to receive really bad news from my doctor. He said nothing to me as far as this went. Not even �Good Luck.� There goes our friendship, down the drain. I hate myself for loving him.

10:06 p.m. - October 23, 2009

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