Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ramblings of an Insomniac Ha, so I am on a new medication…. One that I am deadly allergic to. So why? Because otherwise I'll probably die or have to go under the knife… none of my fave options. So side effects? Oh yea! Anxiety, HOSTILITY, depression, ANOREXIA, thoughts of suicide, CON-STI-PA-TION, mood swings, HALLUCINATIONS… get the idea? So, there we go, losing more weight that I do not have. There we go, hostility. It's like this peaceful person that I am, giving silent treatments to Stan, and… yea, not sure where I'm going with this. I realized I love the man. Hallucinations? Have I not had enough of those? I hear people see decaying corpses and objects of impeding doom. Right up my alley. Do we remember the dried up carcasses of bugs I've been seeing on my previous medication? I swear, I do not catch a break. Maybe I should just end it and go under the knife… again? AH no. I rather have my brain fall apart slowly. I am extremely allergic to the medication, but we will try… we will try to make it work. Work with my allergy. Work with my intolerance for any chemistry in my body. See, if I become depressed; if I'll speak of suicide, stop me. Stop me. I am stocking a pharmacy here. I am a chemist working with… things. Stop me. Warn me. I do not want to do something I might not even have a chance to regret. I am already regretting my unrequited love to Stan. Maybe it is reciprocated and I am just too self-absorbed to see it and am hurting him by giving attention to all other men, and he retaliates. We are self destructive. We are toxic. I love. He hates. We love. We hate. We affect all around us, negatively/positively, depending how we treat each other that time.
2:29 a.m. - October 25, 2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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