Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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A Six Act Day With No Intermission

Day 6, 250 mg once a day.

ACT I. The Intimate Encounters.
Location: Bathroom.
Five layers of toilet paper separated my butt and the public toilet as my phone fell off excited at receiving a text message. People in the other stalls stirred uncomfortably. Then the picture loaded: Stan with a photoshopped mustache. I almost slid off the toilet seat. I burst out laughing. Suddenly all the stalls next to me emptied out.

ACT II. The Whore.
Location: Atrium.
I strut my stuff like I am the hottest shit. Some group of undergrads chatted about me and then whistled. I stopped and looked at them with my disgruntled face -- they have interrupted my sexy walk. They ask for my phone number. I ask if they are undergrad chem majors and when -if at all- they will take physical chemistry. Next year. I smile and with a smirk I announce I will be happy to see them in my class that year. They fall silent, I continue strutting my stuff.

ACT III. Some are Successful at Failure.
Location: Atrium… the other end.
I walk into a conversation my students were having about me. Noticing me, they did not bother to stop but announced that they talk about me a lot. They mentioned how they saw me at the movies. They mentioned people know what I do and when I do since that is very interesting. Oh yea. They wondered if I had a boyfriend. I told them I will be very happy to remind them that their futures are in my hands and their grades will be affected exponentially by how long this conversation lingers in my brain.

ACT IV. Like Daughter Like Me.
Location: My Office.
"Sometimes when I look at you, I think: hey, you remind me of my daughter." My boss starts.
I rip off the head of my gummy worm. I push the gummy bears at him: "Bear?"
He shakes his head: "She will most likely grow up to be like you."
I don't know what to say, I rip off another segment of the worm, "Thank you?"

ACT V. Here and There. Mostly Nowhere.
Location: My Office, His Office, Our Heads.
"I am not all right in my head." Stan tells me.
"I know. Never debated that." I smirk. In response he runs after me and corners me into the wall. He stands over me in my personal space … oh so ever threateningly… oh so ever sexy.
"That's why I enjoy you so much." I add quickly.
He relaxes. He smiles. He doesn't move away.
~*~
He opens his mouth to reveal two Smarties.
"Gimmie!" I demand opening my mouth. He comes over with his mouth still open. He hovers over me.
"We could be like birds. I could pre-chew them for you." He offers.
I keep my mouth open. He keeps his. Our boss comes in. He takes a look at us and without word leaves the office.

ACT VI. The End Always Ends Well.
Location: Somewhere outside which should be inside on cold days.
Somewhere near the bus stop, my ride did not show, but instead The Biologist extended his arms. He likes birds. He goes to horse shows. He wants to play Twister with me without my friend in the other room. He asked if Stan is my boyfriend. No, he isn't, I said. The Biologist then gave me a tighter squeeze.

12:40 a.m. - October 31, 2009

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