Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Hate Oranges. Unless He Peels Them For Me. Day 30, 250 mg in the morning, 500 mg at night. Today I hurt myself. So what else is new? The fact that I did not know how it happened. So I am bleeding profusely, when my boss arrived with a helping hand. Placing the band-aid on my finger, he asks: "So, Stan was rough with you? What, he bite you?" I groaned and said I can't keep that fool waiting and we need to get coffee. Stan and I came back from the morning coffee run, and we walked into a group of trained lab monkeys. One monkey is like: Oh you're such a dear! You bought me coffee! Stan makes a disgusted face and confused looks at me: Why is IT talking to me?! Nobody laughed until the boss of the monkeys laughed first. Monkey see, monkey do. Laughter resonated the halls. Oh yea, nobody likes her. NOBODY. And yet, she talks. On a second coffee run, he pulled a thigh muscle. He smiled: "Hey, when we come back, you get to take care of it!" He winks. "It will cost you." "How much?" "The most expensive coffee on the menu." Five minutes later, I was holding the most expensive drink from the menu. Later, when it was dark out, I decided to go home. Making sure all the computers are working on what they were supposed to be working, I close the door just to fall into Stan's embrace. How many minutes has he been there? Creeping in the shadows, waiting for me to finally decide to get my butt off my chair and leave the office? I wondered these and other things as I was being held by the man. "What do you want?" I pondered. "Share some food with you." And he holds up an orange. Eh? "And to chat." I look up: "Would you like me to stay longer?" He puts the orange in my hand, a parting gift of sorts. He sends me away. "If I miss my bus, this orange will end up where the sun don't shine." I say back to him. AND NOW, SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT: Yea. I ate two bars of chocolate deliciousness and a whole bag (whole 10oz of it) of little chocolate pieces. Yes. If you think that's mad crazy...Imagine how long I spent in the bathroom� yea! I finished half a book during one sitting. 12:50 a.m. - November 24, 2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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