Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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I Dislocated My Shoulder Serving Some Crazy Balls... And Apparently I'm an Inefficient Genius

"So he came up to me all hopeless. He says then: I love her so much� I've done so much already to show her this� He threw his hands in a dramatic way." Recalls my friend. I giggled� I could completely imagine his hopelessness.
"Then he whines:
What is the next thing I should do!!!?!" And she burst out laughing. I laugh along while I think, holy crap he is so adorable.
"You should've said to him: Stan, ask her to marry you." I propose laughing.

Warm butterflies in my stomach woke me up.

---

My sleeping problems, the nightmares and sleep paralysis are getting worse. I can't tell if these are the seizures of some sort, or just major sleep problems. I have meds but I avoid them. Yesterday, I woke up from a nightmare because in the dream I was being choked by a man I couldn't recognize; I woke up unable to breathe, and what do I wake up to? To a man standing over me. He was not real, no doubt, but the fear was there. Sticking to me like the cold sweat I was sweating on my cool pillow.

---

Stan is with his family and he misses me. He calls me (we are not phone people; we text, we do not call) and won't let me hang up.

I want to make out with him again.
Why do I lie to myself? Me and him� it will never work out.
But darn it, we are just so hot damn attracted to each other. You walk into our office and you smell sexual tension.

Speaking of these things. My boss, taking advantage that now a Doctor, HM hardly shows up in the office, and Stan being away for the week, he bothers me. He flirts with me. Talks to me about stuff that I rather not talk about with my boss.

I am LOSING my mind. I need Stan here. We are not good separately. We are only efficient if both of us are present; one missing, and the other cannot work.
I think that will cause our downfall.

So Shakespearian. Feel free to vomit. I know I am.

11:56 p.m. - May 10, 2010

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