Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Drunken Rants About Some Men of Which Only One Counts I had great plans for today, you must understand. I really did. But then The Apple Man ruined it for me. No. Before him, it was the Sandwich that ruined it. At the end, I blame the Store Man. Maybe not, he saved the day. Yes, it was all Stan's fault. I ate an old chicken sandwich yesterday night. Then I suffered. My plans of going to a nice park, reading a book, people watching, and taking creepy photographs with a creepishly professional camera were ruined. Once the sandwich came out of all the possible orifices of mine, my friend wanted to hang out. I was in. It was either that or work. We checked out laptops at an electronics store. Then we went to the Apple store. It's really bright. The Apple Man smiled at me and asked me if I had any questions (I obviously had "I AM A PC" written on my forehead). No, no I didn't. He told me if I did, I should come back. So I left. Then I thought of a question, and he was hot, so I came back. I point dramatically at him and say: I just thought of a question, so I came back! He smiled his gorgeous (YES-I'll-SELL-AN-OVERPRICED-MAC-TODAY) smile and said it better be a good one. But I ain't your regular computer-stupid person, I know my hard drives, I know my programs and codes. So it was a good question. He flirted, and I flirted back. Then I left. I really really like Stan. My friend did not understand, and she said if I wanted I would've hit that, but I didn't want to hit that, I wanted to hit Stan. I took The Apple Man's card anyway. Funny story is, I am good at couple things, one is: STALKING and getting information on PEOPLE. So after my friend called me various names that included a PREDATOR, I found out the Apple Man had a girlfriend. I was pissed. I played a game with him and he played back. At the end we both played each other. I was pissed. It doesn't work like that. I play you, you feel played and cry. Damn. It was a tie. We went bar hopping (and I hate bars and shit, so of course I need to get drunk in order to make it tolerable). We be chatting up random men. I text Stan that I want him. I really do. It always comes back to him. He is my one and only. We stand on some random corner grabbing some random ass man's curls - they were soft and bouncy, a great indication of healthy hair, he uses Aussie shampoo. (Aussie, you best be paying me compensation now, I am advertising!) Then some fool points his finger at me screaming: I KNOW YOU!. And that he did. I shop at his store almost daily and I always look bummy when doing so… not today though, not today. Then he kept chatting me up, I said if he wants to chat me up, I best be getting some discounts, and the fool pulls out coupons. FUCKING COUPONS. Out of his pocket. I took them. He was fun. He was. I thought of Stan the whole time and how I would've just …. Mmmmmm. We gave the Store Man a ride home and when I gave him a hug goodbye, and said he better be giving me discounted shit from now on, he stuck (or attempted to) his tongue into my mouth. I was like, hell to the no mofo, just because I just talked to you for an hour or two, I lost track of time due to major drukedness, doesn't mean I will just make out with you. I want Stan. My friend doesn't understand. She said she can list at least 10 men who are much hotter than Stan and willing. But I am willing only for Stan. And besides, if all those 200 freshmen college girlies think that Stan is good for them, he definitely good for me. Mmmmmmmmmm. I miss him already. His hugs. Him throwing me on the desk and just kissing me. Yes. We are meant to be. … at least for our PhD-thesis-writing career. Yes. Hotness at its best. Sleep tight. Loose sleeping leads to STDs. You don't want those. 3:49 a.m. - May 23, 2010 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||