Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else
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The Tale of Two Arguments
Within two days I had two arguments with two of my closests friends here. Both displayed different fighting styles (mature vs immature) and both had different results. But first, my rules of arguing:
1. No physical (punching, hitting, etc.) or verbal (name-calling) abuse.
2. No pasts. You had your chance to argue about it before, now is about problems at hand.
3. No shouting, no one else needs to hear your problems.
4. No low-blows. EVERYBODY has a weak spot, that is OFF LIMITS in any argument unless that�s the point of the argument.
5. Apologize if you are shown to be at fault.
| OPPONENT |
STAN |
FEMALE STAN |
| Weak point |
Questioning his sincerity as a friend |
Can�t tell you, but you�d know if you met her |
| The statement that started it all |
�Why do you hate me?� which I followed up by stating how sometimes he�s a shitty friend to me. |
�The weather sucks major ass.� which I followed by: �The wind almost blew me over.� |
| How sh!t went down |
He got ANGRY but calmly told me he does not appreciate me questioning our friendship. He expressed angrily, but calmly, how it made him feel. Just because he is not as bubbly as I am, or nearly as talkative as me, does not mean he hates me or is less of a friend. |
My friend understood the statement as me cancelling on her and went on the offensive. Called me various expletives and refused to hear the REAL reason behind my comment (the weather� was really horrible, I was not cancelling). The weather literally started more drama than you see in The Hills. |
| Resolution |
He was right, I was wrong, and I apologized. I added that I don�t need him blabbering like I do, but if he shared a little, I wouldn�t feel the resentment. |
Hours after the incident, like nothing happened she insisted on going out. I stated I am still offended by the insult Blitzkrieg I was exposed to for no reason at all. Instead of admitting misunderstanding, she continued on insulting me. She brought past matters, and hit me below the belt (not literally) with my weak point that had nothing to do with anything. At that point, I gave up and wished her a nice evening. |
| Outcome |
We are better friends than before, if that was possible. Maybe we will never make out again (tear!) but hey, at least we are better and stronger than ever. |
I avoid hanging out with her, until I get a proper apology, which in the past five days I still haven�t gotten. I avoid doing anything that can later be used against me. |
Conclusion: In a fight with Stan, I committed the biggest sin of all, used his weak point against him, but we fought in a mature way. In a fight with my friend, I was the mature one, and my friend broke all of the five rules.
By the way, my weak point? I don�t drive and I don�t like being accused of using people for rides. I NEVER ask for a ride but tag along only if someone asks me. And she asks me DAILY. Oh and she uses it against me any time she gets (�oh, you�re just using me for rides!�).
8:41 p.m. - August 10, 2010
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