Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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Yes.

At work Stan drinks his coffee and suddenly almost chokes on it. He laughs and laughs. Then he falls of the chair. �I�ll kill you,� I hiss. He looks up at me with tears in his eyes. �You�re buying me ice cream. You owe me,� I state.

The Boss runs in, �So you won�t believe what I heard!!!!!!� I stare him down. �Oh, I guess it�s true then.� He bursts out laughing. He supports himself on the doorframe. �Oh the other IT guy will be mad.� �Yea, it�s breaking his heart.� �Yesterday, the young one (IT/B) came to my office all excited. I told him he can drop off the computer in your office, and you�ll know what to do since you�re a computer savant¹; I told him he can ignore your talking, but he just threw his hands in the air² and smiled big smile and exclaimed: BUT I LOVE TALKING TO HER!� I roll my eyes. �So what do you plan to do with the IT/A?� �Tell him I have a condition� AIDS� or babies. I got baggage. I�m a lesbian. Not sure. Or I�ll tell him the truth. I am crazy.�
Stan and the Boss laugh.
�So once you reject him, what if IT/B asks you out?�
�Well, � � do you get charged for the computer services they provide?� I ask before answering.
�NOT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!� My boss exclaims. Stan almost throws up inside his mouth from laughter.
�Well, you both enjoy it while it lasts, because after I reject them both, you�ll be paying extra.�

�So, yea, I am not surprised,� my boss states.
�Eh?�
�All the IT guys fight for turns to work on our systems. All the IT guys think you�re SUPER HOT.�
Stan almost choked on his coffee. I almost had a heart attack. �You�re super hot� in any context is a statement I never wanted to hear exit my Boss� mouth.

I stalk IT/B and find out he is at most 20 years old. I am officially a 25 9/12 year-old cougar.

****

1. There goes my cover. When IT/B was fixing my computer I played a dumb blonde, he seemed very happy to explain basics to me, so I let him. I really did not know how to change the wallpaper. Trust me.
2. Everybody be stealing my dramatic over-the-top move! What gives!?

12:29 a.m. - August 20, 2010

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