Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Conference Summary: Part II... the last part written as if I was on crack... but then Stan is some sort of a form of crack... impure cocaine. My drug. WEDNESDAY: Downpour continues. He is hungry and under-caffeinated. I join him. He wants to go to a talk together. We go. He wants to go to the presentation together. He keeps coming over to my presentation corner, but I am busy with my people. I got three government job offers, I had a drunk chemist check me out and tell me he �understands why I do physical chemistry because I completely got the physical part right, and we can get chemistry later�, and one other tell me I shouldn�t get herpes in Vegas, and one young hot scientist (after I explained what I do for half an hour to him) that he didn�t care for my work, it sounds too complicated and secret, but he just wanted to talk to me. Stan was not happy. He wanted to go get drunk together. Me him his roommate and another one. I said sure if it�s four of us, but a fifth one came in and I said no. He kept telling me he wanted me to be there. I then walked in front of a bus. I froze. Someone pulled/pushed me out of the way. He was mad. He wanted me to be drunk and hug him. The other one said I should hit on the roommate to piss him off. .. I spent the last night in the uriney room crying over spilt milk. THURSDAY: Fucking sunny. The Desk asked me if my stay was great. �NO! The carpet was soggy. The room smelled like urine. And it was pouring the whole stay. Stan was pms-ing and I can�t tell if he likes me or not. I did EVERYthing he wanted but he couldn�t console me when I was almost hit by the bus! He kept asking me to do everything with him, but at the end he�ll probably complain it was ME who wouldn�t leave HIM alone� Does he like me or does he not? � But yes, the cookies were a nice touch,� I scream in my head. But instead I smile and say it was fine. He picks me up and helps me with my bags. We smile. We go to a gas station and some men congratulate him. He doesn�t respond. My clothes are falling off. I didn�t realize they were all too big. He never said, but he was unhappy I never came with him to the bar. Even though he liked the three guys, he wanted me there. Drunk and huggy. Just as he wanted me there every moment of the conference. --- Someone asked me if I am sick because within a month I lost ten pounds. Yea, sick in the head because I like the man who cannot even tell me straight up how he feels about me. 12:38 p.m. - August 28, 2010 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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