Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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I wish this was a movie and not my life because then I would tolerate the shit that is going on.

Curing my soon-to-be-formed ulcer and dying my soon-to-be grey hair, better be reimbursed and be tax-deductible as a work-related expense.

The Boss stares at me as I stand awkwardly at his door. �You okay? You look as if you are about to pass out.� Nah, it's just... I might get a heart attack. �You're looking a bit pale, sit down.� Yea, my heart is about to explode. I sit down. �Have I ever told you that you're a freak magnet?� I nod my head. �All this weird situations... what the hell?!� I shrug my shoulders, i'm just an innocent bystander in the show that is my life. The light starts to flicker in his office. Didn't they just fix your light? �Yea, but this one only flickers when you come in.� I don't have a pacemaker. �As I said... freak magnet.� Funny, my friend told me that her laptop would always turn off each time I walked into her room... �So... I don't know what to say, I guess we sit and wait until we hear anything. I guess you should refresh that cnn.com webpage for any Breaking News relevant to you.� So we sat and waited and then I got tired and left home and sat and waited there and that's how I got tired and climbed into the bed with my dog and sat and waited and started writing this.

Because see, this mess started with this little distinction I got, this little award that I so gracefully got after writing just about the most awful and most arrogant essay ever. And I feared bragging and feeling proud of this award I feared it, because I knew, I knew I would be punished. And punished I was.
Case 1: My bf dumped me for �someone who understood his situation�. (ie. A ho)
Case 2: My friend died.
Case 3: This mess that just has occurred that instead of inflating my ego is making me want to drop just about everything and hide in some remote area with a sheep, a goat, and a llama. And a man to take care of the sheep, the goat, and the llama.

And Stan just eats a FireBall and while proudly displaying the contents of his mouth, he grins: �What did you expect?? What did you think WOULD happen?� Honestly? �If you can.� I thought I could charm my way through life, wing it and just.... live a moderately boring normal life. �Well, you thought wrong.� And he was right.

***
Confused? Me too. But I have an upper hand because I know the exact situation, and you don't. But fear not, because it's a three day ordeal and the finale is tomorrow. So once everything is decided (in way that I accept, in way that I refuse to accept, or in a way that will make me immediately pick up my stuff and run away) I will summarize the problem.

Funny... others would be totally gloating about this now, and instead I am panicking.

12:52 a.m. - April 21, 2011

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