Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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... I revisited the bathroom after I regained the ability to move, and I realized that anything that could've been broken, was; anything that could've been thrown in disarray, was. But my brain could not recollect how I have managed to do such

things. I guess you need your neck to be able to pee.

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"Heey, so YOU WILL NEVER believe who I just spoke -- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!" My boss exclaimed the moment he sat on the chair opposite to me.
I try to shrug my shoulders, as if I was unaware of my massively bruised and cut arm, and bruised face. Defeated, I let out a curse.
"Is it why you didn't show up to work on Friday??"
"Oh no, that was different. I had a scar treatment at that time and it turns out I was allergic."
"Uhm... how does that work?"
"Oh you know, they just pour acid on your face and it removes the scarred skin," in laymen terms that means "CHEMICAL PEEL". "And who knew, I was allergic to ACID ON MY FACE."
My boss makes a disgusted face, and I just try my hardest to shrug, but without much success.

Then upon more pressure I relate how I am a living proof of Newton's Third Law of Motion.

I had great intentions to giving my thesis a stab on Sunday morning. I knew I'd procrastinate at least three hours, so for this reason I woke up at 7AM. I open my eyes, beautiful day, I think, and oh crap, I need to pee. So I get up.... and that's when shit hits the fan... or not, as there was no fan nor the need to defecate.

A searing pain ran through my neck, and suddenly... I could not move... without blacking out. Hear me out: any slight movement of my neck or my spine, caused me to black out. Well, that couldn't be good, right? So anytime I'd come out of the blackout, I'd panic... I was not ready to lead the life of Stephen Hawking... I am nearly not as cool or smart. What to do, what to do? Call 911!! ... Oh shit, the phone is on my floor... too far too far. What to do?! I can't be paralyzed!! Maybe laying still will somehow help... and that idea worked for a bit until I realized I had to pee. NOW. It was either that, or pee the mattress. How I wish I had Depends(r) at that moment. But no, I AM A SCIENTIST, I shall NOT soil myself. So I get up and black out. I get up and proceed to the bathroom passing out and hitting all possible things I could've: the floor, the bookcase, the wall, the door, the sink, the trash, the toilet, the ceramic floor, the bathtub. Not sure what happened in the bathroom. Or how I got back to bed. Hours later, tired of being still, I moved... SUCCESS, this time I did not pass out. I could with great effort get up. Couldn't turn my head, but at least it was a start.

Today, I was fine with the exception that in order to turn my head I had to turn my whole body. Sexy. Also, a means for a lot of jokes from my boss, who would stand to my side, so I had to make a great effort to turn my body and turn my swivel chair around to see him.

"So that's why you're suffering from especially bad case of Tourette's syndrome today?" Boss joked.
"No, that's normal me."
...

"Why are you making this face?" Boss is concerned and then sees me grabbing my neck in pain. "Do you need... a hot pack... a cold pack??"
"Some freaking appreciation would be nice."

11:47 p.m. - January 30, 2012

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