Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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But Seriously, I Go Above and Beyond for Those People

My students just freaking love me. They won't leave me alone. Each time they see me, they wave at me and try to tell me about their day. Each time I leave the lab, they wave and wish me a great day. (The other two TAs in the lab do not receive the same treatment, and they've been doing this for lot longer than I have.) My one office hour a week turns into 25hrs a day every day of the week. In the past two weeks I have received over 70 emails from them... and I taught only 12 students so far (each week I teach six different students, yay to the lab group rotations!). Today one of the students brought donuts to my office hour(s). Now, I just need to find a sucker who brings me coffee.

So here are the tips for my fellow TAs. If you want to be loved by all your students:
1. Be sarcastic. People love sarcasm. If they say they don't, they're lying.
2. Insult them. People love being insulted. Insults are just an indirect way of telling them how to improve their lives and everything else.
3. Mock them. Mocking is the funnier way of copying a person which essentially is some sort of flattery (or so they say).
4. Constantly say you have better things to do than being with them. It will set them in their place; you will also establish yourself as the authoritative figure.
5. Constantly remind them that you are way better than them and they should bow to you.
6. Groan and make disguisted and disgruntled faces each time they raise their hand or approach you with a question.
7. Never learn their names. Refer to them by numbers or by "you" or "one of you people". That will motivate them to work harder, thus trying to impress you so you would commit their name to memory.
8. Lastly but most IMPORTANTLY, be extremely nice and laugh whenever doing any of the above; it will confuse the hell out of your students and they will just assume you're just a playful funny TA. Silly students.

11:56 p.m. - September 23, 2008

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