Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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Because This Is Supposedly the Best Essay Ever

I just found an essay that I wrote in my junior year of high school. We had no specific topic so I wrote about a dead dog. It was just two paragraphs with five lines in each. I got an A+ and the teacher requested a copy of it saying he's never read such a great essay. Couple years later, in my Freshman writing class in college, I wrote a similar essay about the same dead dog. I expanded it to three paragraphs and 13 lines in total. Again, I got an A+ and the professor requested a copy of it. Now, that I reread it... it doesn't sound like it's the best essay ever. At least, not the best I ever wrote. But hey! I decided to show you a copy of it; keep in mind, however, that this isn't the final copy so the grammar blows (my final copy, which I don't have anymore, was perfect).

A TALE ABOUT NO TAIL

"Nosy person that I am, I knew by heart everything my house closets and drawers contained. One time, repeating my routine of checking the drawers, just in case something new had wandered in, I noticed a book with no cover and no title page. It was in an advanced stage of falling apart. I picked it up, sat on my porch and, petting my beloved dog, began to read.

It was a sad story told by a mailmanís dog. He was old and missing a tail. He explained that he had lost his tail when one very bad child shut a door on it. After that, the mailman decided it was the end of the dogís services and replaced him with a puppy. From that time on, the dog lived under the porch and rarely had anything to eat. The mailman forgot about him, though the neighboring dogs didnít. Every day they teased him about his missing tail, until one hot day, the dog said he was so tired he couldnít chase off the fly that sat comfortably on his nose. Then, he fell asleep.

I closed the book, with tears in my eyes, and leaned over to hug my dog."

So... I don't really know how this is the best essay ever written... or how two/three paragraphs are even considered an essay... but hey, I'm not a writer so... whatever.

1:34 a.m. - May 14, 2006

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