Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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Diary Entry in ACS-disapproved Style of Lab Report Writing.

ABSTRACT:
me, annoyed, in the middle of an argument with him: dude, are you constipated or something?
him, annoyed face: no, why?
me: because you're full of shit!
him... smile.
SCORE.

INTRODUCTION:
i observe the moon phases on the daily basis, because this stuff can ONLY be happening during the full moon!

RESULTS/DATA:
* it's snowing on regular basis here, now.
* i was looking like a wet dog (minus the wet dog smell), with the rain/snow dripping from my hair and face, dressed in a white track jacket (in a 20F weather) with red cheeks and nose, i managed to get 5 phone numbers from 5 different guys. these should keep my apt bon-fire going for a while now. save on electric heating.
* my ex-boyfriend that i dated a while back, is still convinced that we're still dating although i haven't seen him for ... a year.
* i came home to a love letter waiting for me... from my best friend.
* a student of mine came to the conclusion that we should go on a date,... a month from now, since that's when the semester ends and he won't be my student then. this is a third student this semester. if they applied themselves when writing lab reports, as much as they apply themselves in getting my attention.... if only.

DISCUSSION:
meanwhile,

stan and i are like two annoying bastards. you just want to smack us across the face. it's just back and forth with the sarcasm fights. it's back and forth with the hatred. it's back and forth with food sharing. it's back and forth with name calling. secret looks. secret twinkles in the eyes. you like me, i like you, but we're too proud to admit that we even have feelings. feelings are for the lowly weak people with no self confidence. shiiiiit. me and him, the misanthropes, no feelings; feeling anything but hatred towards another human being, is so inhuman in our eyes, so weak, so un-natural.

get a room, us two! seriously!

CONCLUSION:
me with killer headache: you got drugs*?
him: no.
minutes later he ever-so-carefully pulls out two pills and places them on my keyboard.
me: where did you get these from?
him: the floor.
me: seriously.
him: just take them... quickly. don't sniff them though, might smell.
me: [suspicious]
he takes them away: four second rule passed. back on the floor.

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* us chemists know how to make aspirin. we carry this stuff in our pockets like it's candy. delicious, inedible candy.

11:13 p.m. - October 29, 2008

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