Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Because My Insides Felt Like They Were Gonna Explode So Oct 11th I find out I have a tumor in my mouth. You would think there's nothing worse than that and that I'm totally overdue for some good luck; but my life totally abided by bad lack or stupid luck, can prove you wrong. On Saturday Oct 14th at 5am, I ended up in the ER with a pain that I described as: I think my insides are about to explode. That's how it felt. I was shaking violently, and the pain in my left side of the stomach made me believe that all my intestines, liver, stomach, were about to turn into an exploded mess of bloody goo decorating the walls of the ER room I was placed in. Seven blown veins later (I was in so much pain, and so tense, that each time they tried to get an IV in me, the veins would burst), I was hooked to their machines. One dose of morphine: no change. Second dose of morphine: no change. Third dose of morphine: sleepy! The doctor said I'd feel happy, but I felt rage and sleep overcoming me. I remember my bf's face, he thought I was dying; hell... I thought I was dying. But no... I had a kidney stone stuck in my ureter.Supposedly, a kidney stone is more painful than childbirth without any anesthesia. I never had a baby, so I can't say; but I did have my almost healed wrist rebroken and reset without any anesthesia, and I can safely say, that the kidney stone was the most painful thing I experienced so far. The whole past week I was on Oxycodone (prescribed), and if not those painkillers, I think I'd kill myself because the pain the was unbearable. I think my lovely bf even cried feeling bad for me.On Thursday the pain ended. The stone finally got unstuck and moved to my bladder where it safely resides even today. It better stay there, because I don't even wanna think of peeing it out...3:06 a.m. - October 22, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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