Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Because It's Not Just One Disease, It's A Sexy Bunch Of Disorders

Hello! This entry (and the next numbered entries) is dedicated to the nice person who left me a note. I was thinking of writing back in the personal-diaryland-note style but I figured it would be rather lengthy, so I'm gonna divide my response into individual entries. Yea, people who leave me notes are nice and cool and I like people who are nice and cool. Yea. So now, behold! answer to question number one!

1. What disease I have for which I'm not taking my meds. This is actually a very hard question because I don't have A Disease but rather multiple disorders. To be honest, I know the name only of two of them because they were easy to remember and most of the time when doctors explain stuff to me, I don't listen because I'm arrogant and I pay attention only to myself. But to start the whole discussion I better start with the way I was born.

I was born by accident, literally. My mom...fell down the stairs, her water broke, and I demanded to come out. I won't tell you guys why I italicized "fell," I'll leave that your personal interpretation. There was a problem though: her water was discolored (meaning, I was sick/dying in her stomach), and it was more than two months too early. So, the doctors were afraid I'll be a stillborn, but surprise surprise (for the longest time when I moved to USA, I couldn't spell "surprise") I wasn't; however, I didn't breathe and my heart beat was slowing down. Those couple of minutes of me not breathing affected my brain and made me super smart mwhahaha. But in all seriousness, they messed up my brain and that resulted with many head/brain-related problems.
a) Epilepsy (seizure disorder). Yes, I'm epileptic; however, what surprises my sexy sarcastic neurologist is the kind of epilepsy I have. yes, there are different types of epilepsy, and the one I have is the most severe and rare one and you can only get it after some horrible horrible trauma to your head and mostly as an adult. I had it since I was little. By severe I mean, I have seizures 24/7. I understand people think seizures are only when you fall down to the ground and shake like there's no tomorrow, but that's ignorant because that's not what epilepsy is all about. It has cool seizures too: hallucinations, voices, funny tastes and smells, rolling of the eyes, jerks, headaches that last for days non-stop, temporary inability to understand languages or words, temporary loss of memory, and loss of time. Yea. I get them all, 24/7. And I don't take medications for it because I'm stupid.
b) ADHD (attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder). I think the name explains itself.
c) I was born too early so my digestive organs were not fully developed. Since then, I cannot digest some things. Also, my intestines go through some spasms and all that. There's some nice fancy name for it, but hell if I remembered it. Also, a year ago I got really sick, caught some rare bacteria/virus/parasite that made my digestive tract to refuse to digest/metabolize and eventually accept food. It started out with simple throwing up of the food I ate; then it progressed to me being unable to accept any types of food or liquids (eventually even my saliva made me throw up all my insides out + bile). So I went to a hospital, they gave me food from a needle and stuck this sucky-sucky thing in my mouth to suck out my spit hehe. It was no fun. That stopped after two months; doctors are still unsure of what that really was. But that left me more 25 lbs lighter (I'm still trying to gain that shit back), increased my metabolism rate (for the things I can actually digest), made me throw up randomly, and my intestines started spasming more often(some docs call it seizures).
d) Before it was known that I have epilepsy (I had symptoms since I was little, but only in America did they tell me that seizures are not normal and should be treated. I was twelve) I went through some emotional problems. Think of it, I was hallucinating about bloody stuff and had voices in my head, I thought I was possessed by Satan. So I decided to end it all, and I got some pills. They didn't kill me. I just fell asleep for two days. However, that messed me up. I became weaker, my blood pressure is at its lowest. So yea. Then I became diagnosed with epilepsy, and started taking meds. There was a problem though, the pharmacy that gave me my medication mixed my head-meds with some heart-meds (the exact heart-med that would have the worst possible effect on me if mixed with my head-meds). Since they looked similar and since I never care for what goes into my mouth, I swallowed them and ended up on life-support. Supposedly, I was clinically dead. Fun stuff.

Ok, I think I covered most of the things. I didn't include all my broken bones and the two car accidents (1st: me in the passenger seat, 2nd: me hit by a car) because they're irrelevant. I don't take medications because I'm stupid and I guess I like pain and the fact that people feel bad for me and give me gifts. I'm not quite sure how much truth is there to my doctor's "the medications keep you alive longer" favorite phrase. The tone he uses when saying it makes me think that there's some truth but I don't believe doctors, especially the sexy sarcastic ones; I believe myself. All I'm sure of is the fact that when I was on medications I was better and not wishing death upon myself.

4:42 p.m. - February 03, 2006

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

random entry

----------
other diaries:

alienamiss
silver4
perplexing
nononename
opposure
cocoabean
star-brite
achmardi
outer-jessie
non-descript
jenniesblog

----------
recent entries:

Test - April 28, 2017
My PhD Made Me Obsolete In Human Language - February 18, 2012
... I revisited the bathroom after I regained the ability to move, and I realized that anything that could've been broken, was; anything that could've been thrown in disarray, was. But my brain could not recollect how I have managed to do such - January 30, 2012
I Might Have Had a Slight Lapse in Judgement - January 29, 2012
A moment for reflection: - January 01, 2012
Site Meter