Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Because I'm Jealous of Smart People Twenty minutes ago I finished tutoring my neighbor. He's a sweet guy. Older than me by two or three years. He went to college on football scholarship but then messed up his shin and that was it for him and football. He also said byebye to college because "it just wasn't him" but now he started again. He credits me for that because according to him I made school and learning look cool. Man, I am some powerful woman to make school look cool. School is stupid, but I like learning new stuff because I don't like to feel stupid and ignorant. So yea, sometimes I come over his place and sometimes he comes over my place and I teach like I never taught before. Funny how I'm not even a math major and I tutor different maths (my bro: statistics and algebra, neighbor: precalculus, trigonometry; some people at school: calculus). So he came to my house because I was in too much pain to walk that couple yards. After an hour he left because my face was flushed. I checked my temperature. Goodness, surprise surprise, I have a fever! 100F. Didn't I just get well??? What the hell is wrong with my body? And the damn headache! I surely know that I'm not going through withdrawal because I haven't been on my medication for past six months (can you believe my medications are so strong that I go through a big ass withdrawal? like a heroin addict). What the fuck... why can't I be healthy like most of the people? WHY?! Why do I have to lie to people that I'm perfectly healthy while wearing a medical bracelet (I had mine special made, silver with rhodium covering, I designed the bracelet and made it look totally hip, because it's hip to be sick. I wanted platinum one but I didn't have enough money... those were the pre-will times for me)?? Damn it. Sometimes I wish my neurologist told me I have couple more months to live rather than constantly "you'll die if you won't take your medication." I love the friendship I have with him. He's sarcastic only with me because he knows I can take his "you will die...eventually" jokes. If he wasn't married I'd jump him... that sexy sexy fountain pen with brown ink writing doctor.You know how people think that those crazy folk are actually geniuses but they act all crazy because their brains cannot deal with so much info? Sometimes to make myself feel better and to feed my narcissism I think I'm one of those geniuses. One of those geniuses who are crazy and sick because they're too genius to be well.7:32 p.m. - February 01, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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