Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else


I Might Have Had a Slight Lapse in Judgement

I should've known from the beginning that this was a bad idea. To my defense, it sounded good and I got the permission from both parties.

The Filmmaker and I decided to end our road trip vacation to Florida in NJ. My ex-bf from... drum roll... HIGH SCHOOL (that is roughly 10 years ago) had a "CD release concert" and I was cordially invited.

Before I proceed, couple fun facts:
1) My ex is my ex because from the time we dated, I don't remember him not being high.
2) To be close to me, even after breakup, he befriended my brother and my best friend. Classy.
3) He contacted me roughly six months ago, to beg me to come to his concerts (he is kinda a big deal in NJ), and told me how much he misses me and dreams about me and still loves me and... and... I was not interested.
4) Prior to the concert, I went with the Filmmaker to a casino, we invested $5, and left with $16. That's what I call "FORESHADOWING".

My boyfriend LOVES music and knowing this was my ex's concert, he was more than willing to go. Interesting. My ex when he heard I'm coming almost shit himself, he was also well aware my bf was attending. In my book, that is a mutual understanding.

We get to NJ and memories overpower me. That was a great place to live... no sarcasm. It was well prior to Jerseylicious, prior to Jersey Shore, prior to RHWofNJ. In fact, I don't even know where they pick those fools to appear in those shows, NJ is nothing like that. We go to the joint where the concert is about to occur and my ex spotting me and started hugging and kissing and introducing me to all those people I should know but don't (ie. his band members apparently were in my grade but somehow I was too busy flirting with others to notice them).

And that's when shit went down.

My ex started grabbing my drink from my hand and drinking it, when speaking to me he was leaning way closer than personal space allowed, and ignored any of my not-so-subtle movements of displeasure over this. Now, this is when he was actually paying attention to me, because most of the time he'd .... ever-so-nicely tried every single card in his sleeve to out-beat my bf in just about everything. "Oh you make films? Well, I MAKE MUSIC and I MAKE MUSIC FOR COMMERCIALS... have you seen THIS commercial? I created music for it." "Oh you've dated her for this long? Well, I knew her for this long and we had awesome times!!!" <- not sure what he was referring to, and he must've embellished shit in his head since he was never not-high with me. And then to me: "You kno', you should come here more often, I have a huge bed an we can share it."

He gave me two of his CDs (one for me and one for bro) all inscribed with very personal messages. I didn't show them to my bf, he'd be mad. Also, remember the $16 we won? I had to spend $10 of it on the CDs. BITCH CHARGED ME! Sure at high discount but... still!

Anyway, this attacking of my bf started getting to me, and I politely excused myself and my bf, and we drove off... before the concert even started.

My boyfriend was sad the whole one hour drive to PA where my parents resided. At some point he expressed his fears I might leave him for that ex of mine. OMFG!

On another note, the CD is really good. REALLY good!

Additionally, two of the songs are about me and if you know me and him, you know it's about me... my brother knew immediately, my best friend knew, the band members knew... the arena owners knew.. my bf doesn't... since I didn't allow him to listen to it.

And if this isn't bad enough, one of the songs is the song we wrote together.... back in High School.

Some things that were left in the past, should've been buried never to be unearthed again. Although... the CD was good.

10:24 p.m. - January 29, 2012


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