Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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Couple days ago I was looking through my friend's pictures. On one of them, she was laying on the greenest grass I have ever seen. You could not see her face, but from the picture you could feel the content that spring was bringing her. I wanted to be her. I wanted to be on that grass. I wanted to feel so carefree...

In the week that has passed in which I have not written anything, a lot of things have happened.
I broke up with the boyfriend I truly loved. I cried. I wanted him so badly. I wrote him a 6 page single spaced font 10 letter. In it I told him all about my life. The secrets that I promised myself that I will take to the grave. The things I wished he changed in himself. To this day, he has not read the letter. I never gave it to him. 5,500 words unseen by a foreign eye. But it felt good saying these things to him, knowing that I am able to say them, and at the end, knowing that I am powerful enough to keep those secrets a secret.

Then, I forgave my boyfriend, and I took him back. I could not be happier than ever.

Yesterday, we went test driving BMWs, VWs, Audi's.... The salesmen were surprised of my knowledge in those cars. We ate fancy food. We shopped for new pets for me. I ordered (YES! you read right) two fancy rats. I bought a big cage for them, equipped with ladders, wheels, and hammocks. I wonder if they will like F-Bomb, my current rat. I wonder if Punkster, the dog, will like them too.

I have 16 papers to grade. I have research to do. I have bunch of readings to finish. I need to pdf a whole book. And I have a dinner to attend.

And suddenly I felt like my friend on that picture. I feel content of where I am. With whom I am. Everything is good.

1:12 p.m. - April 12, 2009

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