Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All About Men; Five Men To Be Exact The first victim will be my boss. He smells nice. Really nice. I do not know this because he applies cologne rather liberally but because he likes to keep the distance between us rather non-existent. He busies himself around me during his free time; and is serious about joking with and impressing me. While others are much aware, I am rather oblivious to his oh-so obvious flirting with me; I live in the na�ve idea that all men want to be friends with me. Dr. A's advances do not scare me, but I scare myself as the nice smelling smart and funny men appeal to me. Or men with problems… Like the fool that is my ex-bf. After he left me without a word soon after our six-month anniversary, he waited a month to provide me with an explanation. He was scared. The infinite love he has (present tense) for me, overwhelmed him to the point where he realized he wants to spend his life with me. Then he got back to earth, and remembered he is moving in less than a year, and life without me nearby is unimaginable. So what better solution to this if not getting used to being without me sooner rather than later? His plan is this: in a year he moves away, year later I get my Ph.D and follow him to the house he set up for us, so we can live in our together-ness and possibly a married bliss. Yes, that shall happen. Me getting a Ph.D, not me joining him. Some people are brought together by fate… Just as me and Ross. Our short but oh so ever passionate relationship last summer came to the conclusion when I decided to severe the conjoined codependence by stopping all contact for no reason whatsoever. A year later, this summer, he waited in front of my apartment until I came out way under-dressed for the occasion and with two overflowing trash bags filled with rat feces. He hugged and molested my cheeks with the European kisses, and with a smile accused me: "You stopped calling!" To me that warranted a backfire far from truth accusation: "No way! It was you who stopped calling me!!" We fell silent as we knew that he was right since it was me who did the deed. "It is fate," he concludes. He wanted to keep in touch and have my new number, but I said if it is fate, we shall see each other again. And as fate wanted, we see each other at random times almost every random day, and at those random times he randomly chooses to shout: "It is fate!" At those random times, Stan randomly gets confused by this not at all awkward statement. And Stan confuses me even more. He tells me his deepest secrets and insists that he cannot not talk to me every minute of his waking day. He is supportive of me and supports not being supportive of any man that takes any special interest in me… Like the Milk-Jug man. He had a milk jug in his hands and sandals on his feet. He invited me for coffee, but I noticed the sandals and said no. The computer programmer in him told me he will write a program telling me how awesome I am. Write all algorithms you want, but it's redundant: I tell myself every minute of my existence that no one else in the world is like me... Or like the Mechanical Engineer who works for this famous company on some famous super secret project. He lost in Checkers to me because he couldn't out-cheat me in cheating. As a consolation prize for losing to me, he decided to take me out to dinner. I agreed. Stan is not happy, and he expressed being unhappy by not telling me what changed about his appearance and by going out to lunch with my boss to which I was invited but felt I had to refuse due to my sudden loss of appetite. With a doggy-bag, my boss later finds me stretched out in my seat with legs on my desk eating Cheetos, and me announcing I was super hungry. "Why didn't you go with us?" To which I said: "I became starving-hungry only the minute you left." He looked at me and told me he will not interrupt my Zen time with Cheetos, muttered: "Crazy Europeans". And here I am glad to be a long-winded woman. 12:05 a.m. - July 28, 2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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