Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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The Plant That Heals All Wounds

Day 18, 250 mg TWICE a day.

I fly through the stairs, I am on the mission. It's after hours, so I have to swipe my way in through all the doors. Swipe my card here, abuse it there, push my way through these and those doors. So far so good. And then I hit the Atrium. Holy crap, it's 9pm and people are there. Sleeping. Chatting. Having a grand time. Please, I do not need witnesses! I try to be unseen, and run through the next door. Finally, I reach my office.

I start my calculation, you know, just because I am in the office. But that was NOT the mission! I spot the trophy, I grab it and run out. It's an ALOE plant. HUGE ALOE plant. I swiped it from my co-worker's office. I assumed it to be mine. I needed to have it relocated. This 20lbs aloe plant blocked my view. Actually, I could not see ahead of me. Half of me was covered by the plant.

With my back, I open all the doors. Swipe my way somehow. Jedi moves. Backwards, I lug the plant and dread the stairs I have to walk up. I feel like I made it unseen, when I heard my name. Oh Shit! I've been noticed. My name continues to resonate through the atrium. I've been spotted so I might as well stop and just continue covering my face with the huge plant. The BIOLOGIST appears and starts hugging me. "Oh where did you get the plant from?!" Of course a biologist would ask that. Of course.
Oh, you know. Stole it. Same ol', same ol'. "Got it as an early b-day gift," I tell the truth.
"Why lugging this so late?" He continues. What is this? Interrogation??
Because see, I do not want any witnesses, foo'. "Because see, I knew you'd be here, so I wanted you to see how much I love the environment, and the plants. Oh dear, I love them plants. So green. This one, right here… that one, I named it Spikey." I say lies and truth.
He hugs me, and hugs Spikey. Grabs Spikey and leads me to the car. The car which is taken hostage by the cops. Over a plant?! Seriously?! No… not over the plant. Not over the plant. Over illegal parking. Go figure.

We place Spikey safely in the back seat. Chat environmental stuff. Discuss the greatness of chemistry over biology, and greatness of biology over chemistry. Of all, we know I am right. Chemistry is the shiznit.

"Hey, grab a dinner this weekend?" He asks so nonchalantly. A date. How smooth. You international playboy, you!
"Yea. Sure. Why not." I respond, also so ever nonchalantly. This is out of ordinary. This is not how it is supposed to go. We make out, we make others jealous. We do not call each other when not making out or making others jealous. We make out. When I'm drunk he drives me. We make out. We make others jealous. Not go on dates. Hmm… are we getting attached here? Am I supposed to push pursuing Stan aside and go for the sexy Biologist?

Hey. I'm in for it. I'm in for this. Stan can suck it. He can burn. I got them Aloe plant I can sell him. I am moving on. Either ditch your hoes, or suffer me being with the Biologist.

Happy early b-day to me!

1:00 a.m. - November 12, 2009

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