Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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Apples and Oranges; Except the Apples Were Moldy.

I sit next to Stan. He is writing some program and I keep him company. His tiny workspace is suffocating me; no wonder he spends most of his day in my spacious office.
"Can I leave?" I ask.
"No." He looks up at me for a brief moment.
"What am I here for?"
"Keeping me company."
So he is writing this program, cursing under his breath, and I am keeping him company. To be more exact though, I am keeping an eye on his orange. Then I see the hand sanitizer. I load it up on my hands. Sniff it like you sniff the hand sanitizer. Nothing.

I eye the orange. His eyes are glued to the screen as he curses the program to the lowest rings of hell. I make my move and quickly place my hand on the orange to snatch it. He was as quick and without removing his eyes from the monitor, like a cat places his hand on top of mine. He holds my hand, ever-so-gently, as I hold the orange. In some weird fucked up way, we are holding hands. He keeps on typing the code with his right hand, as with his left hand he is holding my hand holding the orange. How long will this take? I think. Then I remove my hand from underneath his, just so he wouldn't know I enjoyed it. I pour hand sanitizer on my hands, and sniff. Still nothing.

~*~

No one knows, but Stan and I almost did it. The people betting on it would've won some serious money. It was the ACS conference this past summer and I was drunk. He followed me to my hotel room (where I allowed Stan's roommate to stay for the night as he had no other place to stay at). He jumped on my bed and waited until my drunk self threw herself on said bed. And I did. He didn't budge so I was on the edge holding onto his arm. I caressed it and whispered things, he whispered things back; I giggled, he chuckled. Apply to wet hair, leather, rinse; repeat. His roommate asked if we wanted privacy and started walking towards the door. I said yes, Stan smiled. Then not-so-drunk-anymore me chickened out. "Silly you, I was joking, I would never jeopardize my friendship with this fool (Stan)!" Confusion all around. Stan was not smiling anymore. He got up and left.

And people all around lost money.

12:12 a.m. - November 22, 2009

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