Because It's Better To Be Irrational With Me Than Rational With Someone Else

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Couple Examples of Rather *NORMAL* conversations between me and my buddy today.

"See, I told you not to stress out," Stansie says.
"Dude, dude, telling me not to, not to stress out, is like … well, you know it's not gonna happen!" I throw my hands in the air and speak incomprehensibly. "It's like, like asking me not to eat!"
"Actually, I haven't seen you eating in a while…" He is stuck in a deep thought. Looks up at the ceiling in a dramatic way.
"What what?? Not seeing me eating is like seeing a Loch Ness Monster! It just DOES NOT happen!!!!" I throw my hands in the air for one more dramatic effect and storm out, passing my boss on the way.

"What's this about again?" The boss questions Stan.
"Like I ever know."

***

"So I finally decided to stop the bullshit and drove my car. I hugged the curb a little bit, but I think I can get past my car-next-to-me fear."
"Good for you."
"So I was like bored, and I said: f- this! I am THE GREATEST, no ACCIDENT TRAUMA WILL STOP ME FROM DRIVING A CAR. Got in… located the gas pedal, drove around the parking lot, then I was addicted .. Like to crack. I wanted more! SO I drove two blocks… that wasn't enough! So I just drove to the other city and got the car inspected… just you know, it was on the way. Then I was still car hungry…. And I did car wash… that was not enough, so I waxed it…. Again! I just like… holy crap! I can't breathe!" I bragged breathlessly.
"I am very happy for you."
"Dude, but seriously! It's intoxicating! But to get back to my story… and that's sorta how I ended up at a dealership and started looking at BMWs.. At some point, at some point I almost exchanged my GTI for a new BMW - same model that I had previously that was totaled… I was there, holding the keys. But I froze, and instead just left with my babe. I tapped its assless back, and said: I LOVE YOU MY GREEN* PIECE OF SHIT! I was not done with it yet."
"I had green piece of shit once. I ate bag of pees. Actually it was only half green… and the green half was floaty. But I did not love that green piece of shit." He states almost more to himself than to me.
I throw my body on the chair right next to him. I needed to calm my excitement.
"So, off you go! Drive some more!"
"Man, I can't. At this rate of excitement, if I sit behind the wheel again, I might just end up in Mexico. In one day."

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* my car is actually charcoal grey, --> that should show you how drugged with excitement i was.

6:11 p.m. - August 13, 2010

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